What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. – Helen Keller
At 97, my father-in-law Bill is in an enviable position by many measures. He and his 91-year-old wife Wilma are aging in place – still in their home, still themselves. They have children who visit, and my sister-in-law is incredible at making sure the right services are in place to ease their day-to-day. And yet aging is not an easy process. They struggle with it, even as they work so hard to be the wonderful hosts they’ve always been.
We had a hospital appointment in Newmarket and took the opportunity to arrive a day earlier and bring dinner – homemade bolognese sauce, pasta, cabbage slaw, and dessert. These days, following a few falls, mobility has become more challenging. Having dinner in that we made and brought to them was a nice way to have a meal together.
Today’s photo captures a moment MAO and Bill shared on the balcony: talking about everything they do, the news, the economy, the world. His mind remains razor sharp, full of opinions and observations on all of it.
There are also the stickier moments – usually when tech is involved. After 25 years, I have finally learned not to volunteer help. This visit was the first time I actually held to that – kinda. It almost always comes down to the TV volume – when did that get so bloody complicated?! When Bill tried to hand me the remote, I shook my head no. Of course later, I quietly tinkered with it and sorted things out. The tiniest personal victory. Hah!
The next morning, he opened a box and showed us the Mixtures I had previously sent – framed photo collages of pictures I’ve taken of him and Brien over the years – easy to hang anywhere. We looked through them together and remembered so many moments.
A few weeks after our visit, I received an email from Bill re-thanking me for the Mixtures and for the time and effort it took to put the photos together. It was signed: “love, DAD.“
Grateful for all the many moments I’ve had with Bill – so many dinners he’s hosted, travels we’ve shared, and family gatherings. He always has a great family friendly joke, always says something just to get a rise out of you, and is always the most gracious host. Truly so grateful to have him as my father-in-law.
